Heart Matters

I remember a friend that was headed back to Burkina after some time away telling me she could feel her heart turning back towards Burkina. The concept wasn’t foreign to me: the idea of God turning our hearts towards where He calls was something we’d discussed many times.

Although in one sense our hearts never leave the places we love I do believe our hearts focus does shift.

Once I was home from Burkina last July I struggled greatly because my heart’s focus remained in Burkina. I lived for a while in limbo trying to figure out where I was and struggling to unite thoughts, a heart and a body that resided on different continents.

I knew Calgary was where I was called to be for this next period of my life and so found myself thrown into a time of trust and period of prayer.

I can’t tell you when it happened because it happened slowly and in stages. But I looked back one day and realized that my heart was here (it was a beautiful feeling). God graced with me with contentment in his plan and for where He had called me to be. Burkina has remained on my heart but my focus has been redirected towards Calgary in these past months.

Although I think of Burkina multiple times daily (and some days simply sorely miss it) and as much as I’ve had my share of ‘grumpy gus’ days I really like Calgary and school. I love that God has turned my heart towards this place.

Last week I realized my heart’s focus will shift again when I go back to Burkina. As the reality of that realization sunk over me I felt a moment of panic. I feared my heart being pulled too much in the direction of Burkina too soon before I depart in May.

And so I prayed: “God, don’t let my heart get ahead of me...”

Please don’t misunderstand me: I want to go to Burkina and I know God has asked me to go to Burkina. But do understand there is a scary phase in which your heart is not where you are and it is that phase that brought me timidly before the Lord.

Equally I fear the phase of ‘limbo’ upon returning next fall. It took a long time for me to find balance in loving Burkina from afar. I hope and pray I am better equipped to find a place in which my heart will be focused here next fall.

And so here’s my honest confession: just because I am going somewhere I know doesn’t mean there aren’t things that scare me.

This fear, like my other concerns, I will lift up to the Lord and trust that He has the answers and a plan.

Phillipians 4:6-7 (the message)

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

[photo taken from here]