Bravery

I've commented already on the bravery of the two moms I have met through working on cleft care. Angelina's mom, Tenee, and Margaret's mom, Lydia, are remarkable women. They have trusted us to travel 15 hours across the country, stay in an unfamiliar city where they don't speak the language, and allowed us to organize cleft surgeries. Their dedication to their daughters is evident in all of this, but it's also not the half of it. 

"They tell me she is a spirit child, but I don't care. I told them that I like it and I want her." Is what Lydia told us this week as she described her community's reaction to Margaret's cleft lip. In Northern Ghana tradition dictates children born with disabilities or abnormalities are to be considered evil spirits. These children are thought to be capable of bringing misfortune on a family and are neglected, or killed, as a result of their condition.  Spirit children are often victims of infanticide at the hands of their own mothers who fear the community's reaction to their child, or traditional healers (ie. witch doctors), who poison spirit children to appease the community's fears of what they don't understand.

Reports coming from Northern Ghana suggest spirit child slayings are on the decline, but the reports that say spirit child slayings have been eradicated couldn't be more wrong. Lydia told us about seeing ‘spirit children’ born, and returning to visit the mothers only to find them without a baby. When pressed to answer questions about the baby women say "It died" or "I didn't have a baby." Lydia refrained from providing us too much detail, but the few details we heard were heartbreaking.

"They don't think they are human." She told us. And as she cuddled Margaret, telling us about the spirit child tradition and how community members think her daughter isn't human, all I could think is how brave this woman before me, and our mom back in Sandema, are. 

Lydia and Tenee have literally fought for the lives of their daughters. They haven't just refused to kill their daughters, they have refused to abandon them, refused to neglect them, and chosen instead to grant them unconditional acceptance. In daring to keep the unwanted they have chosen to love the 'unlovable' with all of their hearts. Defying long-standing cultural norms has been the cost of this love, and they have gladly taken the cost on.

And in all of this I can say with certainty that cleft surgeries for Angelina and Margaret won't put an end to the spirit child phenomenon. It may not even change the fact that these two little girls are thought to be less than human, but I can also say it is definitely more than just a surgery. Health impact of a cleft repair not to be forgotten, a cleft surgery is a physical symbol of the war their families wage. A repaired lip symbolizes not just that their families will permit them to continue living, but that they will fight for the best for their child, because it's their child. These cleft surgeries speak to the children's value that is daily affirmed by their loving and accepting families.  And it’s families like Angelina’s and Margaret’s that will play roles in putting an end to the spirit child phenomenon.

And I think it's a pretty wonderful gift to have been given the opportunity to play a tiny role in this ongoing battle.