The Night You Don't Sleep Tight

Two Weeks Before

During your first days in Sandema your roommate points out a strange rash on her feet and asks you what you think it is. You hold back for a moment, and blurt, "It looks like bed bugs…" You both dismiss this as reactionary, and not plausible, concluding self-diagnosing in Africa could always end in some strange disease. 

One Week Before

You notice you have many bug bits arounds your ankles, on your arms, and hands. You dismiss this as mosquito bites, brought on by the fact that your house is open-air style and bugs are free to roam. You fail to consider the fact that it has been years since you have developed any sort of allergic reaction to mosquito bites, or that you haven't actually seen any mosquitos, and instead choose to be grateful for your anti-malarials. 

The Day of

You are in town hanging out when your American friend sees the bites on your arm and asks what they are. You admit you're not sure & that you've been passing it off as mosquito bites. Now that she asks though, you are reconsidering the assessment. You add in that your initial reaction was bed bugs. She hesitates and then says categorically, "that's exactly what I think it is." Resign yourself to the fact that you are not crazy, and that maybe this needs to be investigated. 

The Evening Of

8:00pm Try to remember everything you have ever heard about bed bugs. You know they are nocturnal and best investigated in the night. Pretend to watch Sister Act with your African Sisters while really just dreading the possible discovery you are about to make. 

9:00pm It's been dark for several hours: you can finally begin your investigation. Pull off the sheets in one big swoop and shine your flashlight across the mattress. Heave a sigh of relief when you see no bugs scrambling to move away from the light. Maybe, you are all wrong, and there are no bed bugs. 

9:05pm You are about to give up on the hunt when you see a bug scrambling across your mattress. Panic. Look again. It moves like an ant. It can't be…Look closer. Shine a light on it. It's a strange, translucent looking thing with funny legs and antennae, and weird dark stripes across its back. It's not an ant. Panic again. Hit it with your shoe. Look at it's shrivelled corpse. Immediately regret killing it before taking a photo. 

9:10pm Start googling bed bugs. Your internet connection continuously cuts out and loads slower than dial-up. Persist. Find photos. Read articles. Refuse to accept what you are seeing come across your screen. 

11:00pm Congratulations! It's 11pm and you have just confirmed the bed bug infestation. It's now time for sleep. Your roommate asks about your conclusion. Start to tell her you are convinced…backtrack. Tell her you're not sure. She laughs and tells you she hopes you can sleep after all of this. Laugh, sort of. Wish her a goodnight. 

The Night 

11:15pm Take your new mat from the hall and put it on your bed. Toss your sheet over the mat and curl up. Mutter "Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite" to the empty room. Say this both with an air of sarcasm, and a slight hint of sadness. Despite your new-found knowledge you have no trouble falling asleep. 

3:30am Wake up extremely confused. There is HipLife music blasting through your window. The 70 year old man living across the courtyard from you is DJing a one-man late night music party. Heave a deep sigh and roll over. 

4:00am Silently curse the music for keeping you awake and for bringing about a state of fatigue-induced-craziness that makes you think you are covered in bed bugs even when you know you can't possibly be. Decide you've lived 2 weeks with the little guys, and you can survive another night. Fall asleep swatting imaginary bugs off your itchy skin. 

The Next Day 

Admit to your roommate that you do, in fact, strongly believe it's a bed bug infestation. She agrees. You spend the morning being grossed out together. 

Ask your colleagues what they know about bed bugs. Watch them squirm and laugh. Tell them it's not funny. Admit it is actually, really very funny. Laugh with them. Deep down you know if you can't laugh you might just cry. 

Begin googling how to exterminate bed bugs. Talk to your host family. They know all about bed bugs, and are embarrassed you have encountered them. Decide on a fumigation plan.

Talk to some other locals. They tell you it is not an issue, until you explain again what kind of bug it is. Once they realize you don't just have a bug infestation, but have bed bugs, they will exclaim "Those are very hard to get rid of!" Resign yourself to the fact that there is no quick fix. 

There is a saying for this kind of day that is both a complaint and an admission of defeat: West Africa Wins Again. It's the kind of thing us foreigners say when the little idiosyncrasies of life here in Africa become all too much. It's a kind of 'straw that broke the camels back' statement that acknowledges life here is just harder than life at home. WAWA, we say, WAWA. 

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UPDATE: We've now just completed the fumigation process & can move back into our rooms tonight. The whole thing is an inconvenience, but also very manageable. There has been much laughter about the whole ordeal and we're in good spirits. This is life :)